The Nigerian Job
by Lonecannan
Summary: Neville is the Hitter. Tonks the Hacker. Blaise is the Grifter. Luna the Thief. All have remarkable talents. All know the world of cons and being good at it. They just never expected to come across Harry, who is the most moral guided of all and who is their Mastermind. All five are just looking to give the common folk of the magical world a little...Leverage.


The Nigerian Job Part 1

"I checked the next international portkey and flight shuttle is in fifteen minutes." The waiter said before walking away. Harry sat alone at the bar stool nursing his Fire-Whiskey with a scowl upon his face.

"I'm sorry Mr. Potter, but I know who you are, what you've done. Saving your company over 20 million gallons by finding that Monet painting…I also know that when you needed them…. with your family and how-"

"You know that part where I punch you in the neck about nine or ten times. We're coming up on that pretty quick."

"-I just wants to offer you a job."

"What do you got?" Harry replied with a half lidded stare.

"Someone stole my designs for the newest broom model."

"Oh I see… and you'd like me to find them right?"

"No, I know where they are…I want you to steal them back."

Pierson Tailwind.

Harry meets three people outside the building.

Airport.

"Look my head charms master went missing about two weeks ago. About a week ago the design plans for an identical project turned up at a competitor's, Pierson Tailwind, come on. I need those plans for my shareholders meeting coming up. I've spent five years, a hundred and fifty thousand gallons on the project. With out them I'm finished. I've already assembled a team: here look." He puts down a folder. Harry frowns puts down his drink and opens the folder. They are all people that he's chased at one point or another while working for the company. He pauses at one file.

"Luna, you got Luna."

"Is there somebody better?"

"No…. but Luna is insane. Besides that these people all work alone."

"Which is why I need you."

"No…I'm not a thief."

"That's the beauty of it though. They are all thieves; I need just one honest man. That would be you, to watch them. I've offered each of them 300,000 gallons is they do this. You'll get double. Also as a bonus, your former bosses I.Y.S. insure my competitors company for a fifty thousand intellectual right policy. Mr. Potter how badly do you wand to screw the insurance company that let your godson die?" he asked.

Pierson Tailwind.

First to show up is a Nymphadora Tonks. Tall thin build for a woman, sharp jaw and cheekbones, black eyes that are framed by long lashes. The most distinctive things about her are her short bright bubblegum pink hair and rows of piercing in her ears. She was caught for fraud. Helps in her line of work to be a metamorphmagus, being able to change your face at the drop of a hat helps with that.

Five Years Ago

New York City

"They came strait from the airport to the hotel room." Says a very flustered hotel manager.

"So you never saw any of them then?" questions a federal agent.

"Well no…but all the account and card numbers checked out," The manager says gesturing wildly.

Looking annoyed the agent says to the men by the door, "Break it down." The door busts open to show several men dancing and playing around a slight girl on a lounge with a drink smiling.

The manager looks gob smacked as the agent says with a smug look, "That look like Victor Krum to you?"

"This is not the room you're looking for," the girl says with a Jedi hand wave movement.

Present

Next to show up is Neville Longbottom. He is also tall but he has muscle in the way one would expect a gym rat would. His shoulder length brown hair is in a ponytail at the nape of his neck. His hazel eyes are cold chips of calculation as he looks around and takes in Tonks. He scowls as Tonks asks what he does. He is a Retrieval Specialist.

Three Years Ago

Belgrade, Serbia

Neville walks calmly up to a shady group of men sitting in a bar. He's wearing gold wire glasses and his hair is down. He takes a sip of his drink and smiles after.

"I'm here to collect the merchandise." He says in a friendly voice. Several men stand at once and surround the boss who remains sitting. All of the men have drawn their guns and point them at Neville. We flash to outside the pub to see that it is a corner street pub with red and black paint outlining the door and windows. The numbers above the door is 3471, their brass illuminated by two lanterns on each side of the door. We hear several clicks and then flashes of gun pops followed by some thuds and grunts. Suddenly it goes quiet again, we flash back into the pub. We see Neville standing and the boss is sitting nervously still at the same table his drink knocked over. All of the boss's men are still around him but now they are either knocked out or dead. Neville takes a sip from his drink that is still in his hand looking only slightly disheveled. The boss reaches and places a mint condition baseball card in a glass casing. Neville looks down at the card then looks up with a smile.

Present

A petite blonde drops from the tree behind Neville and Tonks. Her name is Luna (the one Harry called insane); she's a Security Circum…Infiltration and Alter…Thief. Her blue eyes sparkle at making Tonks scream.

Nineteen Years Ago

Kansas City

We see Luna as a child of about eight years old. Her face is completely devoid of emotion as her father yells at her. Her mother trys to stop him only to get smacked in the face for speaking out of turn.

"You thought I wouldn't find this. You don't get bunny until you do what I say. You be a good girl." He finishes saying while pointing at her.

As he walks away he turns around at the door way and says, "or I don't know…. a better thief." We look at Luna's face and we see and eyebrow rise up as if to say challenge accepted. He father continues to walk away as his wife moans out his name. Time elopes by several hours and we see Luna in her jacket closing the front do. She slowly walks forward until she reaches the sidewalk. She stops for a few seconds as if to wait for something. An explosion bursts the windows and shudders the front door. Luna smiles and lifts up bunny to hug as she skips away.

Present-Pierson Tailwind Rooftop

Tonks is looking through the ear sets and other technological gadgets that Harry gave them; Luna is suiting up in a harness and rope; Neville is keeping an eye out for guards.

"Harry what's the hell is this…. this 80's spy crap," she shakes her head, "I have better ear sets than this."

"No surprises now."

"Dude I've been doing this since high school bro. I'm captain disciple."

Opens a small hand held box and hands Neville one. "It's a bone-Conduction air ear piece mic. These little babies work on the vibration of your jaw. So…" Neville goes to put the piece in his ear… "you can hear everything."

"You're not as useless as you look," Neville says.

"I don't even know what you do," Tonks replied with a headshake.

Luna swings down from the pipe that she's on, "Can I have one?"

"Yes on the condition that you don't scare me again though."

"I can't promise that."

"Well at least your honest about it." Hands Luna one.

"Age of the geek baby. We run the world." Tonks says while putting on a beanie.

"Mmhmm…you keep telling yourself that." Neville says with a sneer. Across the street in a building with binoculars is Harry watching to make sure everything goes smoothly.

"Alright on my count we start not a second sooner…. Luna no freelancing…

"Hey relax we know what we're doing." Neville says.

"Right. On the count of five… four…."

"Ah he doesn't want to be our pal." Tonks says with a pout.

"We're on the count of five…four…three…"

"And she's gone Potter." Neville said in a deadpan voice.

"Son of a..." Harry looks up quickly with the binoculars at the building across the way, there's Luna falling face first. The rope slows her until she's at the level that is needed. Neville and Tonks look over the side of the building to look at Luna.

"That is a twenty pound of crazy in a five pound bag," Neville said shaking his head.

"True that. Come on," Tonks replied. Both turn away to go down into the building through the roof.

With Luna hanging about half way down the side of the building.

"There is a vibration sensor on."

"Ok use the binary, no cutting." Luna pulls out a stick with a chemical mixture that burns through the glass at an even rate. Once the hole is big enough she drops the stick, pulls out a suction cup for the cut glass. Attaching it to the glass she pulls on it to pull is free from the window and then drops it. She then puts her hands down on the desk next to the window and releases the rope holding her once she's balanced all her weight on her palms. Tumbling over the desk while just on her palms she touches down on the floor with just a pencil to roll after her. She caches the pencil before it can drop onto the floor and set off the sensors. She smiles and moves off to hot wire the elevators.

"Anytime now would be nice Luna…. whoa." Neville exclaims as the elevators move.

"They are on their way," Luna says with a smirk.

"Yeah well what about security. You see security." Harry asks?

"They don't see a thing." Luna says with another smirk as she takes over the buildings scrying cameras. Flashing to the security booth to see the elevator monitor shows that elevator four is locked. Flashing back to the elevator that's moving down to see Tonks and Neville slip inside it.

"Doors opening," Luna says.

"Okay guys it's show time," Says Harry. Tonks and Neville make their way down a hall to a locked door.

"Okay you got any chatter on their comm. frequencies," Harry says with concern.

"No, why?" Luna asks.

"There's eight listed on the duty roster and only four at the guard post."

"Problem," asks Neville?

"Maybe. Run the cameras," Harry says. While that's happening Tonks has disabled all locking charms and now is just working on the technology side. She slots in a card reader to find the password combination.

"A ten digit password. I salute you sir." Tonks says with flair. Luna scrolls through the cameras and comes across the missing four guards on camera thirty-seven.

"Got 'em. They're doing their walk through an hour early. What the Crumpled-Horn Snorkack."

"Because it's the Quidditch cup. Cause of the cup. Yeah, they're doing their rounds earlier so that they can watch the cup. All right where are they?"

"They're at the stairwell," Luna says. The cameras showing the guards on camera twenty-nine walking along. One of the guards came across the open door to get to the door that Tonks and Neville are at. The guards scrabble to call for back up at the security breach.

"Ok guys here's what we gotta do we gotta squelch 'em," Harry says. Luna starts to type fast and then presses a button that causes the radios that the guards are using to screech horribly like a baby dragon.

"Neville what I want you to do. Is to clear the zone and use Tonks as bait," Harry orders. Neville takes off his jacket and takes off down the hall.

"Hey hold up, hold up wait a minute. I know he ain't talkin' about me. I ain't nobodies bait. Come on baby work for me. Work for me." Tonks says with a little bit of panic at the end. The guards get closer and closer to Tonks and just as the card reader reaches the fifth number Tonks panics further.

"Just forget it." She says as she grabs her bag to take off. She goes to take off and the four guards are there at the end of the hall pointing their guns at her.

"Hold it right there." One of them says. She razes her hands, duffle bag in one. She sees Neville come up from behind the guards. She goes to drop the bag. As it starts it descent to the ground Neville flies into action and attacks the first two guards. Collapsing one guard behind the knee and knocking the other out with a palm to the nose. The next guard is knocked in the chest with a foot as he reaches for the last one whose head is knocked around and as he falls unconscious falls into a water fountain. The guard whose knee was knocked out gets a kick to the head and the last one a palm to the nose. By the time the bag touches the floor Neville is standing with the bodies of the unconscious guards around him. Tonks' jaw drops open in astonishment as she lowers her hands.

"That's…what I do," Neville says as he empties a clip from one of the guard's guns with a smirk. Tonks nods her head and hears the card reader beep in complete as the door to the room opens. Neville and Tonks look at each other with a smirk as they walk to the door. Tonks' mouth drops open again at the amount of servers in the one room.

"Guys…guys, you got to talk to me, okay? 'Cause I don't know what's going on," Harry says as he paces in the room across the street.

"It's all good. I'm stripping the drives right now," Tonks says as she flicks through files upon files. Neville is collecting any paper copies of what they came for in a duffle bag along with whatever Tonks tells him to take.

"Come on baby…. yes, got all the designs and got all the backups. We're leaving this cupboard bare," Tonks says with a smile.

"Drop the Spike," Harry says. Tonks types for a bit as the computer beeps and whirs at her before it goes white. She walks away from the computer terminal with the smile still plastered on her face.

"Did you give them a virus?" Neville asks.

"Dude, I gave them more than one virus," Tonks says with a chuckle.

"Problem, those guards you ganked, they reset all the alarms on the roof and all the floors above us. We can't go up," Luna says with a frown.

"Every man for himself, dude," Neville, says adjusting the bag on his shoulder.

"Go ahead, I'm the one with the merchandise," Tonks says.

"Yeah, well, I'm the one with an exit," Luna yells over the comms.

"And I'm the one with a plan. Now, I know you children don't play well with others, but I need you to hold it together for **exactly** seven more minutes. Now…. get to the elevator and head down. We're going to the Burn scam," Harry says with a smirk. Neville and Tonks nod at each other as they move to the elevator. Luna smiles and packs up her equipment. As the elevator bell dings Tonks and Neville runs in.

"Going to plan "B"," Tonks says as she changes her cloths with her and Neville's backs to each other.

"Technically…that would be plan "G"," says Harry. The elevator bell dings again as Luna runs inside and takes off her shirt just to show skin underneath. Tonks and Neville stare at each other for a brief moment before looking forward in alarm.

Hearing the elevator bell ding again on the lobby floor where the front desk is manned by two of the four remaining guards. One guard looks up in confusion at the noise.

"I thought we locked down those elevators," he said to the other guard. He comes out from behind the desk and heads over to the elevators. As he does he reaches for his gun in his holster. The bell dings again and the elevator releases Tonks, Neville, and Luna onto the lobby floor. All three are in business suits and Luna has burns and bruises on her face, along with a leg in a cast and one crutch.

"Hey, stay still. Stay still. Don't move," the guard can hear Tonks say to Luna.

"Nice. Stare a little more?" Neville says to the guard as he spots him.

"Sorry," says the guard with shock.

"You got to be kidding me!"

"No, Tom, it's okay," Luna, says with a grimace as Tonks helps her across the floor to the doors.

"No, it's not." Tonks says with a glare at the guard.

"Sorry, sorry," he said with a reflexive step back.

"I understand." Luna says as she gasps like she's about to cry.

"Look what you did. Feel good about that?" Neville says to the guard as they make it to the door. The three see Harry pull up to the curb in a basic four door.

"I'm sorry," he said slowly walking behind the three to the door.

"Get the door. Come on." Neville says with a growl.

"Let me help you with the door."

"I've got that thanks." Tonks says with a snarl. Luna whimpers and moans in pain as they slowly go out the door.

"Again, I'm sorry," the guard, says as he looks on with pity and walks back to the front desk. As they make it out the door they speed up slightly with their pace of walking until they get to the car. Then Luna tosses the crutch to Tonks as she gets to the passenger door.

All four are standing in a circle of sorts in a park as the dawn sky lights up.

"Oh, come on. It's only taking you all night. Come on," Harry says impatiently.

"There you go. The designs are sent," says Tonks whose holding a laptop.

"The money will be in your accounts later today," Harry says with a reassuring nod to everyone.

"Anybody else notice how hard we rocked last night?" Tonks asks as she closes the laptop.

"Yeah, well, one show only. No encores," Neville says as he moves out of the circle.

"I had already forgot your names." Luna said with a smirk as she moves out of the circle.

"It was kind of cool being on the same side." Tonks says to Harry.

"No, we are not on the same side. I am not a thief," Harry says to Tonks with a growl.

"You are now." Luna says in a singsong type of voice. "Come on Harry, tell the truth. Didn't you have a little bit of fun playing the Black king instead of the white Knight? Just this once?" Harry turns away and smirks. They all walk away from each other as the job is finished.

Next Morning-Airport Hotel Room

Harry wakes up to a cell phone ringing in his ear. He pops one eye open in disgruntlement at the noise. Half a shade is open to blind him as he reaches past several miniature liquor bottles for the phone knocking them over in the process. He flipped the phone open only to be shouted at.

"You screwed me. The designs never got to me," Dearborn shouted.

"No, I-I watched them go out," Harry said as he rubbed at his head.

"I don't know what you saw, but I received nothing." Dearborn said in distress as he walked hurriedly through the office.

"Look, I told you you couldn't trust them," Harry said as he sat up against the headboard.

"I-it is not my job to trust anybody. That's what you were here for. I'm freezing the payments. I am freezing all the payments," Dearborn said as he turned down a side hall.

"All right, look. I will come over there right now. We'll straighten this out," Harry said with a worried scowl.

"No, no, no, do not come here. My company has an old aircraft facility outside the city. And I will text you the address. And you be there in **one hour**," Dearborn stressed before ending the call and entering a room with a mug of coffee waiting for him on the table. Back at the hotel, Harry puts down the phone. The scowl still on his face, his gut was telling him something was wrong. He just didn't know what.

Aircraft Facility

"You want to tell me **what** happened to the designs?" Tonks shouts. Harry can hear two others squabbling like the children they are from the door as he moves toward them.

"What makes you think I know what happened? Stupid," Neville replies.

"Forget you, man. You did it. Okay, we were coming down from the elevator," Tonks says as Harry rounds a corner to see her pointing a gun side ways at Neville.

"Yeah, that makes sense, doesn't it? You had the **file** every second," Neville replies with an angry frown and clam posture.

"Hold up, cujo. I did my part. I transferred the files. What did you do?" Tonks says as Neville blames her.

"Better get that gun out of my face. I tell you this right now." Neville mummers.

"Hey!" Harry yells at both of them. Tonks swings the gun at Harry in reflex and Neville turns his head to look at him. "Did you do it?"

"You're the only one that's ever played both sides," Neville said.

"Yeah, and you seem pretty relaxed for a guy with a gun pointed at him," Harry states.

Neville swings his head back to Tonks as she points the gun back at him, "Safety's on."

"Like I'm gonna fall for that," Tonks deadpans.

"No, no, actually, he's right. The safety is on." Harry says. Tonks looks confused for a moment and tilts the gun down. "Give me that," he says as he yanks it out of her hands as she jumps. "Are you armed?" Harry questions Neville.

"I don't like guns," Neville states with a headshake. A gun cocks and Harry spins around to point the one he's holding at Luna.

"My money's not in my account. That makes me cry inside in my special angry place," Luna says with a glare at the three of them. She moves around them until all four of them form a circle again standing across from Harry.

"Okay, Luna." Harry says as he slowly reaches for the gun. She lowers it and lets him take it. "Now, would you come here to get paid?" Harry asks all three of them.

"Hell no. Transfer of funds, man. Global economy," Tonks replies.

"Supposed to be a walkaway. I'm never supposed to see you again," Neville says with a scowl.

"And the only reason you guys are here is because you didn't get paid…" Harry states as that gut feeling comes back again, "…and you're pissed off right?" Suddenly Harry starts to laugh at the absurdity of it. "I mean, matter of fact, the only way to get all of us in the same place at the same time i-is to tell us that we're not… getting…paid." he told them as they all looked at him. All at once they start to run for the door. They all flee as fast as their legs will allow. Tonks trips going up the stairs into the place, Neville who's behind her grabs her jacket collar and urges her to get up several times and run. Harry gets to the door first and goes to open it. It's about half way and tells them to hustle. Tonks falls again going out of the door and Neville who still has a hold on her jacket drags her. He opens it a little more gasping as he looks back into the building. Looking to Neville, Tonks and Luna running from the building they get about half way across the parking lot when it explodes they fall to the ground from the blast force, Harry nowhere behind them.


End file.
